Cinco de Mayo: An excuse to party |
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Leaving the nest is not so easy |
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| Posted May 4, 2007 | |
Tom Anderson Now that the countdown to the day we, the class of 2007, leave these hallowed caves, er, halls and enter the much-ballyhooed real world is measured in weeks instead of months or years, the time to start shifting one’s focus from schoolwork to a real-live paying job (or three) is truly upon us. Some of us have been doing the 9-to-5 thing (or whatever “thing” your class schedule allowed) for a while now, and have the scars (both physical and mental, but mostly mental) to show for it. Others, like me, haven’t held a real job since last summer, if ever. I have been extremely lucky to have parents who have not only been willing to let me mooch off them for room, board, food, clothing, transportation money and even the occasional extravagance (including a really, really nice desk/workstation for my bedroom), but they have repeatedly and emphatically insisted that I do so, as well. There’s been a catch, of course, and that was that I do well in school, something that I like to think I have worked toward throughout my academic career. That said, I don’t want this to turn into another end-of-my-last-semester blizzard of touchy-feely introspection and reflection. You get plenty of those every May. Yet I think that’s just where this nugget of commentary is headed. There’s no agreed-upon time in a child’s life when he or she is ready to leave the nest, and the most common age this takes place has been in a state of constant flux over the centuries. But in every society that I know of, it is generally accepted that at some point in early adulthood, kids will take at least one big step toward independence, be it moving out, getting a job or some other quantum shift in the degree of reliance they have on their parents. Now I have a really good, close relationship with my folks. Some people might say we’re too close, that I need to grow up and learn to be more distant. Well, considering I’ve been living with them my whole life and will continue to for the foreseeable future, it would be kind of hard to just put them at arm’s length. As much as I like having them right there for support, guidance and company, I know that I won’t always have that luxury. And although the odds seem ridiculously long at this point, I’ll probably have a family of my own eventually, and relying on Mom and Dad will be one of the last things on my mind (though taking care of them as they enter their twilight years will certainly become one of the first). Bearing all of that in mind, it would make sense for me to set out on my own sooner rather than later, since the safety net they can provide will still be there, right? Well, yes, it does; in fact, I already have two (possibly three) jobs lined up for after graduation. But as I said before, I don’t plan on leaving home anytime soon – even if I wanted to, I’d be hard pressed to afford it, at least in California – and I guess I still have a hard time letting go. Then again, that whole hesitation to leave the nest thing may be hereditary: My dad worked but continued to live with his parents until he married my mom, and he was 32 at that time. It was another five years before I came along, and although Mom and Dad seemed to be fine with starting rather late, they might be starting to regret it, as at least one person has mistaken me to be their grandson. Not the kind of history I’d like to repeat with me, thank you very much. So while many might view not actively seeking total independence from one’s parents as uncool, I see it as hedging my bets, because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Tom Anderson, a senior journalism major, is editor in chief of the Campus Times. He can be reached by e-mail at tanderson1@ulv.edu. |