A lesson in letting go

by Alejandra Molina
LV Life Editor

She stood outside, dumfounded at the thought that it was actually over.

He looks at her with anguished eyes, and she knows that things were much worse than she had thought.

He is not the same; he is distant, and she is confused because she does not know what to expect.

She thinks they are going to talk things through this time instead of ignoring them and believing that things were going to work themselves out.

As they begin to argue, she realizes how unprepared she was for the changes they were going through.

He tells her that he cannot handle the way she thinks and the way she views her future.

If only she had done and said things differently, but she did not, and she does not regret it.

She remembers how she waited for him while he was gone.

He came back and everything seemed perfect; they were together again, enjoying every minute.

But their differences get in the way.

She asks him what he thinks is the best thing to do, and all he can say is, "I don't know."

She gets impatient and asks him if he still wants to be with her.

He hesitates to answer.

Finally he says that the best thing to do is to separate.

She does not know how to react.

She looks away from him and covers her face.

She refuses to cry because she is not supposed to cry; she does not want to feel stupid.

But somehow, without her knowing it, tears come down her face.

She is surprised ­ surprised that she did not handle things the way she always did, without emotion.

She hopes that if he would just hold her, he would know what he would be missing out on.

But he does not, and she knows it is the end.

So she agrees to it.

She tells him that she is not going to waste her time worrying about it because she has better things to worry about.

It is tearing her up inside, but she does not show it.

She could have said the right things to make it work out, but she did not; she said what she believed to be right.

If she could have done things differently, she would not, because that is who she is.

She is not the victim; she knows that. They were both at fault with the immature decisions they made, and it hurt.

But what hurt more was that deep inside; she believed it to be the best decision. It hurt because she did not understand how the love they had for each other was put aside by their differences.

So she walks away from him without knowing what to expect in the future.

She remembers the moments they shared: their long and spontaneous walks on the beach, their jokes, nicknames, laughter and the promises they made to each other.

She told him that things would never be the same again, but she hopes the promises they made to each other are strong enough to withhold their friendship.

So she is the same now ­ the same girl who is always occupied and does not have time to worry about things like this. She walks around as if there was not a worry in the world, but deep inside she knows it is hurting her.

Alejandra Molina, a sophomore journalism major, is LV Life editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at ale_molina01@yahoo.com.