Comedians provide needed insight

by Jaclyn Roco
Editor in Chief

Because my stress level peaked to mountaintop heights last week, my boyfriend and a couple of my friends decided to treat me out to a night of laughter, and spending galore.

Emphasis on the spending. I mean ultra-expensive.

They took me to the Comedy Store on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood Saturday night, and my eyes nearly popped out of my head at the outrageous prices.

For parking, we were charged $20; for reservations we were charged $20; for sitting down we were charged a two-drink minimum that came out to $20 each. Imagine spending more than $6 on a bottle of beer?

And because I am a college student, of course I did not have the money to fork out. It was thanks to my boyfriend's generous heart (Bless him) that it was he who suffered a giant hole in his wallet, but, of course, he was the one who offered to take me out in the first place.

So the question this week to ponder is whether laughter is worth $80 per person. I sincerely hope not, but thanks to this jaded cesspool we call life, everything always seems to have a price.

It also took another $20 for gas to get to Hollywood.

And whom should we thank for this crumbling economy?

Well, according to all nine comedians who performed that night, all the jokes were on him ­ President Bush.

"So who voted for this idiot we call president?" asked Pauly Shore, the actor and comedian. (His mother owns the Comedy Store.)

Interestingly enough, nobody raised his or her hand, and there were more than 80 people in the audience.

"Nobody, eh. Then why the hell is he president?" Shore quipped.

Everybody laughed, including me, but then when I sobered up enough to think the joke through, I started to become bothered by some things.

First of all, why is most of America scared to admit whom they voted for?

He won right?

And the reason why he won is because people decided to vote for him.

So why, again, did we vote for somebody who seems so interested in his own priorities instead of what our country is founded upon ­ life, liberty and justice?

Is Bush promoting life when he decides to send troops to God knows where?

Is he promoting liberty by wanting to force people to serve in the military someday?

Is he promoting justice to our fallen loved ones by again making the choice of war?

Well, perhaps you can say in a perverse way that he is, however, I fail to give up on the hope that there is some other way we can protect our semblance of peace.

An Iranian comedian bravely quipped jokes about the situation and even talked about a humorous way to solve the conflict.

"First off, why can't Bush shut his mouth and stop pointing fingers at my people?" he asked.

"I'm from Iran, not Iraq, but the bastard never seems to get that right either. If Bush is gonna blow up Iraq, I hope he makes sure that he gets the right country. It's pronounced 'E'raq' not 'I-raq,' and it's 'E-ran' stupid. I'm really riled up because I know that bastard's gonna blow up 'E-ran' by mistake.

"The two countries would sound alike to someone like him," he concluded in his assault against Bush.

On Saddam Hussein, the comedian jokingly said that the best way to solve the conflict would be to send a gift to him.

"How can we defeat hate without love?" he asked. "I think Hussein is in need of someone special."

The crowd applauded their approval, and I was amazed at the tact that this brave soul had.

If a comedian has the intelligence to know the element missing from Bush' brain, then why cannot we all support this weird, but truthful measure? Even if love cannot defeat all, at least people around the world would finally be able to know what our country is really about-the pursuit of happiness.

Jaclyn Roco, a senior journalism major, is editor in chief of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at rocojax@yahoo.com.