Self will battles temptation
Campus Times
March 12, 2004
There are 30 days left in the time of Lent. Thirty days till my next piece
of chocolate, my next candy, my next snack, my next beer and my next ice-cold
soda under the burning California sun.
Every year in the days between Ash Wednesday and Easter, I give up my biggest
addictions and the things I enjoy the most. Why?
Not for religious reasons, but to prove myself that I can. I want to show
myself that I do not depend on eating candy, chocolate or chips. (Just writing
this really makes my mouth water.)
My environment doesn’t make it any easier. Have my friends ever eaten
that much candy? Did their soda ever look so delicious?
And why do my students at the Learning Enhancement Center have to learn about
German food, especially desserts and cakes, right now, when I miss it the most?
And no one who never experienced the 46 days of Lent can imagine the unbelievable
taste of a simple and small piece of chocolate. (I am hungry now.)
I looked up on the Internet what I could do to pass those 30 days till Easter.
According to my Google search, I could write a novel, get a partner or a dream
job, unlock the Bible or build a house in 30 days.
But none of those is on my mind.
On my mind day by day is the question of why I don’t just give it up
and get back to normality.
Because I am competitive. I can’t stand losing. Not at a simple board
game, not on the field at the ULV soccer intramurals and not on the battlefield
of my easily-tempted mind.
I do not believe that I will have to be answerable to the face of my God after
a sin. But I do believe that I will have to stand the deserved mocking from
my friends if they caught me with a piece of chocolate, a Coke or a beer. Even
worse, I would have to be answerable to myself. And I hate nothing more than
losing against myself.
My religious background in the Western Christian Church allows me to give
Lent a break on Sundays. Wouldn’t that mean observing Lent for just one
week – six times? So I keep craving even on Sundays and expand the Christian
historical 40 days of lent to 46 days.
I have been honoring Lent since my childhood, when my whole family did it
and everybody was helping each other through the six weeks of Lent.
But as time went by, I distanced myself from the original, religious meaning
and found those 46 days of craving my personal meaning.
I don’t know if observing Lent makes me a better Christian. To be honest,
I don’t even care.
But I deeply believe that it makes me feel better. It lets me appreciate all
the things I missed for six weeks and it gives me a bigger self-confidence in
all my decisions.
This feeling of self-confidence comes from the experience of independence
I draw from Lent.
It shows me that I don’t have to depend on eating candy and drinking
soda and alcohol. Does it require a complete season of Lent to realize that?
I think it does.
Like a fish only appreciates the water when he is out of it, I only realize
the role of sweets, snacks, soda and alcohol when I crave for it from the bottom
of my soul after six weeks of abstinence.
Max Zänker, an international student, is LV Life editor of the Campus
Times. He can be reached by e-mail at zaenkerm@bits-iserlohn.de.
