Please use your inside voices

by Matt Paulson
Sports Editor

Recently, I went to see "X2," which is the second installment of the X-Men movies, directed by Bryan Singer. (Read my review on page 14).

The movies, which are based on the comics by the great Stan Lee, provide me with the sort of imaginative stimulation that is generally achieved by a 5 year old with a truck and a sandbox.

I live vicariously through the mutants, wishing I could read minds like Dr. Gray, create inclement weather like Storm, transport like Nightcrawler or shoot adamantium claws out of my knuckles like Wolverine.

It's a dorky disposition; I know. But that's me.

So you can imagine my excitement to see "X2." I wanted to take it in. I wanted to recline in my seat and inhale everything my imagination would let me. Nothing was going to ruin this movie for me.

Recollections of past cinematic experiences stirred in me. So many past films, no matter the amount of anticipation, have been ruined by some individual who felt the need to speak incessantly throughout the movie, or even worse, some colossal waste of space who believes he is important enough to ruin the movie for everyone else by answering his cell phone. The conversation usually only consists of discussing some wild high school bash where everyone stumbles around holding their second Bacardi Breezer of the four they stole from Mom's stash. You know the kind.

OK, so you're probably wondering from where this moviegoer vendetta has stemmed. It reached its boiling point at the opening weekend of "Final Destination 2".

The movie was great. The intensity, coupled with the incredible complexity of every death scene, was awesome. If you haven't seen it, and want to see a movie that completely reinvents the modern death scene, check it out.

But when I left the theater that night, the experience was tainted. My conversation about the movie with my roommate did not entail only thoughts and praises of the film. We did not discuss the first 15 minutes of the movie. Instead, we found ourselves profaning the four people behind us.

These four - two guys and two girls, a double date - felt that they needed to tell everyone in the theater what they thought of each part. They decided that their opinion transcended anyone else's right to enjoy to movie, a right purchased with our $8.50.

And the worst possible part: not only did one of our annoyance's cell phones ring, but he answered it and proceeded to have a conversation in the middle of the movie! That was ridiculous. I realize that this type of person is a minority in the moviegoer demographic, but they still exist. It needs to stop.

I did not pay $8.50 to listen to what you think about this movie or any movie. I would not listen to what you have to say for free. I don't care, nor does anyone else in the theater. Your opinion does not matter to us. Keep it to yourself.

And to the cell phone answerers: Stop trying to pretend that you're important. You're not. I know it. You know it. It can wait two hours. Unless a friend or relative is in grave danger, it can wait.

This is just one thing that puts a damper on my day. I enjoy seeing movies. It's a break from the droning reality that is La Verne. Don't ruin it for me and for everyone else in the theater. Happy movie going to all, and in the words of Red Green, "keep your stick on the ice."

Matt Paulson, a sophomore journalism and English major, is sports editor of the Campus Times. He can be reached by e-mail at phil6483@aol.com.