by Steven Falls
Sports Editor
Will someone tell me what the deal is with Ashlee Simpson? I mean really. Somebody tell me what on Earth possesses people to like her or think that she has some kind of talent.
There is no way that you can tell me this girl has talent.
Let me tell you about my first Ashlee encounter. I was sitting at home procrastinating on doing my school work by flipping through the channels when I stumbled upon good ol’ MTV. They were airing the “Ashlee Simpson Show.” I thought I’d give it a try. After all, her sister Jessica is absolutely beautiful and has a great voice.
To my dismay, they put this girl on the screen that was supposed to be Jessica’s sister. What? This girl looks adopted because there is no way on Earth that these two are related.
During the show, they began to talk about her life - blah blah blah. I could tell the show was really about nothing. At this point, I was already disinterested, but it was at one of those points in the day when nothing else is on. In other words, I was forced to watch it.
The show was just dragging along, and then they came to a part where they showed her performing in the studio. I’ll be the first one to tell you if you have never heard her sing: she sucks. She absolutely stinks. I couldn’t believe it. Her voice was terrible. The thing is that you can completely tell that she knows she stinks because then of course she began to ramble about having some sort of life threatening throat disease and her voice being lost.
And what is with the “Saturday Night Live” thing? If you haven’t heard of that let me be your informer once again. Ashlee went on SNL and lip-synched one of her songs. Yes, that’s exactly what she did. Not only did she lip-synch the song, she lip-synched to the entirely wrong tune.
Forgive me if I am mistaken, but doesn’t “Saturday Night Live” mean Saturday Night L-I-V-E? You don’t lip-synch on this kind of show. She perfectly exposed what a complete and utter joke she really is.
The New York Daily News reported that Simpson apologized to her fans, and then blamed her band for playing the wrong tune. Let me repeat myself. She apologized, then blamed the band. Forget your band, honey! You were lip-synching a SNL performance, and then blamed the band. It has become obvious that this bottle blonde is completely missing the point.
I was watching the news one night, and one unnamed source actually knew she was lip-synching during this particular performance. “I knew she sounded like crap already, so when her voice sounded like the radio, I just laughed,” the man said.
It’s clear that Miss Ashlee doesn’t have much talent at all. She is obviously using her sister’s fame and success to propel her own career in the music industry, an industry in which she has no place.
I guess I can’t be entirely upset with her. After all, it is the record company who makes the decision to actually sign her anyway. They sign what sells, and she sells. Unfortunately it’s her completely made-over radio edited version of her singing which sells.
I actually give her credit because she has given me the inspiration to become a pop star. I can do exactly what she does.
Steven Falls, a senior communications major, is sports editor for the Campus Times. He can be reached by e-mail at sfalls@21@msn.com.