A sister's struggle and concern

by Jaclyn Roco
LV Life Editor

With change there comes a need for adjustment, and boy have I made some pretty drastic adjustments in my life recently.

About three weeks ago I watched my baby brother graduate among a platoon of 300 bald-headed Marines. I had not seen him in three weeks, and to find him so different from what I was used to was a major upset in my mind.

The brother I used to brawl with, scratching and rolling on the second floor of my home down the stairway, was now a grown man whom I hardly recognized.

My baby brother who used to listen to my phone conversations and who even had the audacity to pee on me when I was seven years old (he was four), was now a full-fledged killing machine.

Am I supposed to be proud of the fact that my brother is no longer the happy-go-lucky prankster I once knew? Sure, he is still as dorky as he was, but underneath his mild banter is someone I never expected to find.

Gone are the crinkles behind his smiling brown eyes, and whenever someone mentioned the impending war in front of him, those same eyes would shine bright as though there was a fire within, waiting to burn.

Yes, I can definitely see the changes my brother has gone through. He was never so eager to be away from home before, and he was never so anxious to find out whether he was going to see some action, either.

Action? Please. The only action that he should care about is the fact that he made it through boot camp. Boot camp would be too much action for most people anyway, and this explains the fact why most people never attempt to join the armed forces in the first place.

Although I know his experience did him much good, I still cannot help but wonder whether his joining was necessary.

His first reason for signing up was the appeal of gaining college money. I think this reason is ridiculous, considering the fact that this so-called college money will continue to sit in his bank account until after he serves four more years of active service.

The bonuses the government promised him have been rolling in as well, but according to my brother, most of the money is taken out for taxes.

But there is more to my judgment than my brother not being able to use his money. I am his big sister, and I think that is reason enough to worry.

Perhaps I am being stubborn to think that my brother should not have joined in the first place. I know he will do a great service to this country and to my family name, and still I cannot help but feel a little selfish.

After all, I will not be able to see my brother for another couple of years or so, and there is also the impending doom of whether I will get to see him at all.

But all these thoughts and worries will never reach my brother's eyes or ears because I will never tell him. A sister's grievances must remain inside her heart so that her champion will have the strength to leave home and possibly not come back.

My brother will never know how hard it was for me to come home every weekend knowing that my home would be devoid of life. Since my father is rarely home, I was in a habit of sitting alone in a darkened den for three months before his graduation.

Now I will continue this ritual until I receive hope that my brother will indeed once again return home where he belongs.

Jaclyn Roco, a senior journalism major, is LV Life editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at rocojax@yahoo.com.