by Valerie Rojas
LV Life Editor
Christmas is right around the corner and being that this is the last issue of the Campus Times before the joyous day arrives, I have decided to use this opportunity to make my last column of the fall semester really count.
By now, many of us have started compiling our lists of what we are hoping our friends and family members will give to us this holiday season. Some of us want movies, cars, significant others, happiness, etc.
I have composed a list of wishes that are probably not much different than yours. There are a number of things that my little heart desires this season. I will gladly present them to you now.
What Valerie really wants for Christmas:
1. George W. Bush to be elected for a third term. Now, I know you are probably gasping with disgust at the words you just read. Tears are probably coming to your eyes and hatred is boiling up inside. It is for those very reasons that this is at the top of my wish list. After all, Bush isn’t that bad of a guy. Personally, I have not been affected in any way by his presidency. My advice to you is to take off your “Not my president” t-shirts, wipe away your tears and suck it up. This cat is our president and he will be for the next four years.
2. The death of really lame music. There is just so much out there it has become ridiculous. Far too many bands are being formed that have no right to harass the poor, unsuspecting public with their noise pollution. This includes the entire rap-rock fusion thing, irritating pop punk boy bands, and all those scene-core, hardcore, emo-core bands. Let’s do away with them all. And while we’re at it, get rid of Gwen Stefani and that Avril girl. The world will be a better place for it.
3. The end of horror movie remakes. First it was the perfect-as-it-was slasher classic: “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” that they had to screw around with. Then Hollywood had to go and toy around with our beloved “Dawn of the Dead,” but now, a new low is about to be reached. According to Dheatre.com, a remake of “Evil Dead,” one of the best – or possibly worst – horror movies of all time, is in the works. And what’s worse, Ash, our star protagonist, is rumored to be portrayed by Seann William Scott, of “American Pie” fame. First off, there is no reason for anyone to attempt to redo this film favorite. Why mess with perfection? Second, there is no need for a remake. There has already been one, it was called “Evil Dead 2.” One thing I really want this Christmas is a little bit of originality. Stop remaking the classics and get some new ideas, big shots.
4. A roommate for my boyfriend. After this weekend, my sweetheart will be left homeless. He is in need of a friendly person to take him under their wing and roof. He is a small guy, so he won’t take up much room and he plays a mean guitar, which means you can start a band with him. If you are interested, e-mail me.
5. Graduation: a year early. I know this semester is almost over and I only have a year left, but I am more than ready to blow this popsicle stand. I don’t know how anyone could make this happen for me, but I would be extremely happy if it were possible.
So, there we are. My 2004 Christmas wish list. I know actually receiving any of these things would be quite a long shot, but hey, this is the season for miracles, right?
Valerie Rojas, a junior journalism major, is LV Life editor of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at skalivornia@hotmail.com.