Accept rejection, get over it
Campus Times
October 2, 1998
Well, well, well, this is the third issue of the Campus Times
and no sign of boy bashing from me yet. Lo and behold, the time has once
again come for me to gripe about the opposite sex.
The focus of this column is how many boys at the University of La Verne
cannot seem to get over themselves.
Example: My roommate is hit on by boys on a daily basis. I can see it
coming from a mile away, so I sit back, roll my eyes and laugh at their
tactics. Well, if any boys on this campus knew my roommate, they would know
that all of their sly pick-up lines are a wasted effort.
She politely, or not so politely, refuses to go out with them and all
of these boys still persist.
But finally they move in on the roommate-me. This part is the most entertaining.
Boys who would never think to approach me make small talk and sooner or
later it turns into, "So, are you going to hook me up with your roommate?"
I reply that she is uninterested. Without a moments hesitation the following
sentence is transmitted from their egotistical little brains to their mouth:
"So, is she a lesbian or a man-hater?"
Come on! Boys, you need to get over yourselves! Do you really think
that you are so wonderful that every girl should want you?
Instead of understanding that she does not go for just any smooth talker,
it is interpreted that there is something wrong with her.
Has it ever crossed these boys' minds that there are independent girls
out there who do not need a boyfriend, nor accept a date from every boy
that offers? Also, that some girls are smart enough to stay away from the
boys at ULV?
Nope -- it must be the girls, right? They must be gay or hate men. Their
brain must not be working correctly to turn you down.
This is the most conceited, egocentric way of thinking. And boys, do
not say that you do not think this way. I spoke with Duke Kell, senior broadcast
major, on this subject. His reply: "Guys can get any girl they want
to, they just have to know the right thing to say."
No comment, point proven.
And for all the boys who are reading this, steaming by this point, it
is boys like this that give "nice guys" a bad rap, although I
do understand that Kell is not a spokesman for all males. His comment just
goes to show that my opinion has been formed not based solely on observation,
but actual male input.
Hey, do not get me wrong. It is great to be persistent and determined,
but there comes a point where boys must accept that they are not God's gift
to women, and that, yes, they may have a few character flaws. Or, maybe
they just are not that girl's particular type. Even with a ratio of four
or five to one here at ULV, girls still set standards.
What I do not understand is the boys that cannot accept rejection no
matter what. It begins as a sensitive "No, thanks," becomes stronger
and finally is a flat out "No, never!" This just eggs the boys
on. Boys, this is not a reverse psychology trick.
Once the boy finally realizes that he is getting nowhere and that there
is nothing to be said to reel this girl in, the bitterness shows through.
The next thing that happens is the rejected, hurt boy tells all of his
buddies and anyone else interested in the girl that she is a waste of time,
a trick, a tease, a lesbian or a man-hater.
Boys, stop while you are ahead. Do not let it turn into an ugly, humiliating
mess. Also, take her friends' advice. Most of the time it came straight
from the horse's mouth, with the intent of less embarrassment.
As I said earlier, you need to get over yourself. Accept that there
are some girls who, no matter how hard you try, do not want anything to
do with you, and move on. Take a "No, thank you" for face value
before it turns into a "No, never!"
It does not make the girl a lesbian or man-hater, nor does it make you
a loser. It just means you are not what she is looking for. Find a girl
that appreciates your egocentric attitude and pour all of your effort into
her.
Jennifer Parsons, a junior journalism major, is editor in chief of
the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at parsonsj@ulv.edu.
