Telling truth part of 'grown-up' world
Campus Times
October 2, 1998
Since my childhood days college has been a goal. College meant that
a person is a "grown-up." They do "grown-up" things
and hang out with their "grown-up" friends in a little "grown-up"
world.
It was on the verge of high school graduation that the feeling of being
on the brink of that "grown-up" world began to occur. A chapter
had closed and I was about to move out of my childhood and into my adulthood.
At my graduation party, my mother left a stack of index cards on the
counter for all my wise "grown-up" relatives to leave their words
of wisdom for me. A way to guide me after I left their protective arms.
My uncle Brian left good advice, "Cop to nothing! Enjoy life, be
good, call home once in a while, study hard, sleep once in a while, say
what you want, say what you mean, 'protect yourself,' enjoy, enjoy, etc.
etc."
I thought that sounded like good "grown-up" advice, especially
the part about saying what you mean, so that became one of my primary missions
for my college years. I would always say what I mean and be up front with
everyone I met. This sounded like the "grown-up" thing to do.
In my two and some years here I have encountered countless people. Interesting
people, many of them are great friends who I am thankful for because they
say what is on their mind. It is a comfort to know that there are people
who can communicate with ease.
They are not afraid of what others may think of their views even if
they are not the same. They are not afraid to share what is on their mind.
They are their own person.
But in the same two and some years most of my encounters have been with
people who are afraid to speak their minds. They have these things they
call hang ups.
Hang ups are things I do not understand. We all realize that communication
is the key to solid and strong friendships and relationships between people.
So why are we going to make things harder than necessary by wasting each
others time with meaningless surface level conversation?
La Verne was supposed to be my perfect little "grown-up" college,
but I was to slowly be disappointed.
It was probably my stupid preconception of college being a cute little
"grown-up" world where people go to do what I thought were "grown-up"
things like saying what they mean .
Despite the fact that I hate these hang ups and I have them too, I have
learned in my adulthood that to be a "grown-up" one needs to get
past false communication and into a more truthful phase of their life.
I am grateful to the people I have met who have always said what they
meant. It is hard for some to say what they mean and often times they end
up saying what they feel a person wants to hear rather than what they mean,
but what is the point of that? This is often without regard to anyone's
feelings, myself not excluded.
We need to consider the repercussions of our actions, because every
action has a consequence.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that to be a "grown-up"
saying what you mean is essential. Communication truly is the key without
it we could not ever advance in our endeavors. And if we cannot advance
in our endeavors then how will we ever find our happiness?
We all have to get past our hang-ups and try to have a better level
of communication.
Michelle Thornton, a junior journalism major, is features editor
of the Campus Times. She can be reached by e-mail at mthornto@ulv.edu.
