Comforts of home, family reassure security
Campus Times
December 11, 1998
Sometimes being an adult sucks. There are bills to pay, a future to
plan, gray hairs to pluck and gravity to fight. But a challenge many will
face at some time in life is being an adult while living at home with mom
and dad.
After living on my own for the last two years, I recently decided to
move back home temporarily and save money before leaving the country to
study abroad. It was a painstaking, gut-wrenching, emotional rollercoaster
decision for me. OK, so it was not gut-wrenching, but the idea of moving
back into my little room and out of my comfortable condo provoked some sleepless
nights. So I came to the decision by making a list. I sat down and began
writing down all the reasons to move home. I split the paper in half and
wrote the reasons why it would be hard. Reasons to not move home included:
1) I will gain 50 pounds. My mother, queen of refried beans and tamales,
is convinced I am too thin. Now the money I save in rent can be put toward
clothing for my expanding waistline. 2) Dad catches me at 10:30 p.m. before
I leave Friday night and says, "Son, try and be home by 11, OK?"
3) Since I will be hanging out at the house more often, my mother will have
more opportunities to badger me about my car. "Son, you really shouldn't
drive with that top down, it just isn't safe! What if you tip over? Here,
have some more beans, you're a toothpick!" 4) No more parties. This
is where I need a moment of silence to mourn the loss.
After I completed both lists, I compared them. The more I stared at
the paper, the more muscles in my neck began to tense up. So I decided to
stop thinking about it for a while. Then Thanksgiving came. The day's theme
was appropriate for the understanding I came to that day. That morning,
I was overwhelmed with tremendous emotion over the realization that I had
a place to go. Pretty simple, yet incredibly profound when I realized many
of my friends did not have such a comforting destination.
Millions of people are blessed with brilliant minds and tremendous potential
for success. How many of these people have had unconditional support since
they took their first breath? Life is difficult under the best circumstances,
and failing is easier when there is someone behind me to lift me up and
dust me off.
So I think I have it all in perspective now. I will be losing some privacy
and square footage. My dad's requests to be in early every night, and my
mom's concern over my eating habits and their uncontrollable urges to interfere
with my personal life are not as annoying and are only a reflection of the
love they have for me. It is nice to know that I am worried about, and it
is nice knowing that my choices are supported regardless of their occasional
disapproval. I am one of the lucky ones because my parents' actions speak
as loudly as their words, "I love you."
I have consciously surrounded myself with people whose quality of life
compliments my own. I have exceptional parentage to thank for those choices.
Mom imparted insightful observations to me over the years. She said, "If
you ever want to know how good a person is, the proof of their character
is in where they come from and who they have to thank for it."
So any anxiety over the loss of independence in moving home dissipated
when I realized the simplicity of my decision. I am going back to where
I came from to be with those I thank for the quality of my life. As some
advice from a guy who listens to his mom, consider someone close who makes
life great, and thank his or her parents. And eat some more beans. You are
too thin!
Johnny Hagerman, a senior journalism major, is a staff writer the
Campus Times. He can be reached by e-mail at J_Hager76@aol.com.
