One pregnancy = difficult decisions
Campus Times
March 26, 1999
When an unexpected pregnancy arises, a woman is faced with the task
of deciding among three options -- having an abortion, giving the baby up
for adoption or keeping the baby. Junior Marlen Davalos and her fiancé,
former ULV student Manny Estrada, made a tough choice and decided to keep
their boy, Tristan, who is now 15 months old.
Joe sat on the well-worn waiting room couch, nervously thumbing through
People magazine. He could not stop himself from looking up every time someone
passed. Moments later his girlfriend returns from the nurse's office, slowly
closing the door behind her. He does not even need to ask. The look on her
face tells him what they suspected all along -- she is pregnant.
Joe's story is not uncommon. Many college students find themselves in
the same predicament. In fact, the dilemma of unplanned pregnancy affects
one in nine college students.
"Each choice brings with it its own set of complications and advantages,"
said Joyce Brycl, nurse at Foothill Family Planning.
The question then becomes what to do next -- give the baby up for adoption,
raise the child or have an abortion?
Adoption
Fewer than 5 percent of college students choose to give their babies
up for adoption, despite a waiting list of 2 million couples eager to adopt
a newborn baby.
"I think choosing adoption may make it easier for women to complete
their education and start a family of their own in the future," said
Molly Pannell, public education coordinator at Feminists for Life, a women's
pro-life organization.
"Adoption can be an empowering option for women."
If a woman decides to place her child for adoption, private agencies
will typically pay medical costs associated with prenatal care and delivery.
Despite the assistance, she has the right to change her mind at any
time during the process up until a surrender is signed. However, once a
surrender is signed, the decision becomes legally irrevocable.
An ethical adoption resource will not pressure a woman to place her
child, regardless of any financial assistance or counseling she received.
For some, open adoption is preferred because of the availability of
options. For instance, birth parents can choose a prospective adoptive family,
meet with that family before the birth of the child and maintain unmediated
contact throughout the child's lifetime.
Raising the Baby
Choosing to raise a child, whether alone or as a couple, can be a rewarding,
yet financially daunting task.
"It is so hard," said Marlen Davalos, junior, diversified
major and mother of 15-month-old Tristan.
Manny Estrada, Tristan's father and former ULV student, remembers how
difficult it was last semester to coordinate his and Davalos' schedules.
"Marlen had classes in the morning, went to work until night, then
came home in time for me to make it to work by 10 p.m. I went to school
the days that Marlen could be home with the baby."
"We both thought it was going to be easier," Davalos said.
By itself, parenting is challenging, but finding reliable child care
is a top concern for parents.
Through a partnership with the Fairplex Child Development Center, day
care is available to ULV students. Some students may qualify for reduced
tuition subsidized.
Another important concern for students is housing. According to Laura
Lopez, area coordinator for the Office of Housing and Residential Life,
a student who lives on campus and becomes pregnant will be counseled by
their resident assistant to determine whether it is beneficial for the student
emotionally and physically to continue to live on campus until they give
birth.
Due to the "no children" policy for on-campus living, the
student would have to find alternative housing outside of campus after she
gave birth.
"There have been instances where students have their baby, leave
it with their family and return to live on campus," Lopez said.
Due to the influx of new undergraduate students, campus housing for
single parents with children is not likely, not even in the future.
"The traditional undergraduate students are our first priority
right now," said Dr. Loretta Rahmani, dean of student affairs.
Pannel contends," Most women end up quitting school due to the
lack of practical, financial or emotional support they need to be both parents
and students. They intend to return someday soon, but many never do."
"There are definitely times when I want to quit, like last night
when the baby kept interrupting me while I was studying for midterms, he
just wanted to play. Before I had Tristan, I had a 3.6 grade point average,
and last semester I think I got a 2.5. It can be frustrating," Davalos
said. "But there are great things about parenting too, like watching
him learn different things and see how much he's grown ... he's a lot of
fun."
Abortion
The decision to have an abortion is rarely simple. Planned Parenthood
contends that most women base their decision on several factors, the most
common being lack of money and/or unreadiness to start or expand their families
due to existing responsibilities.
"Abortion has become so much more acceptable today," said
Cindy Denne, director of student health services. "It is widely accepted
as an alternative."
Because of its increased acceptance, more than half of college students
choose this option.
Many feel that the most responsible course of action is to wait until
their situation is more suited to child rearing; 70 percent plan to have
children when they are older, financially able to provide necessities for
them, and/or in a supportive relationship with a partner so their children
will have two parents.
While students at ULV were reluctant to share their experiences, Barbara
Moore, a UC Riverside graduate student, explained why she chose abortion.
"I just wasn't ready to have a baby. I want to wait for the right
time when I will be able to do it right, not leave it in day care 24-7 or
not be able to provide for it," she said.
According to Planned Parenthood, the earlier the abortion, the less
complicated and safer it is. The safest time to have an abortion is between
six and 10 weeks from the last menstrual period.
Deciding to have an abortion can often cause a great deal of distress.
"It is normal for women to experience guilt or sadness after an
abortion. However, the majority of women report their feelings are manageable,"
said Dr. Rosenthal, an OB/GYN. "The most frequent response women report
after having ended a problem pregnancy is relief."
Women and their partner's emotional health is an important consideration
when deciding to choose abortion.
Since the 80s, opposition groups have tried to document the existence
of "post-abortion syndrome," which they claim has symptoms similar
to post-traumatic stress disorder.
In 1989, the American Psychological Association convened a panel of
six psychologists with extensive experience in this field to conduct a review
of the available data. They found no trace of post-abortion syndrome and
furthermore, no such syndrome is scientifically or medically recognized.
In contrast to the findings of the APA, Christine Lowe, lay counselor
for Project Rachel (funded by the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles),
firmly believes women and men experience psychological repercussions after
abortion.
"Women and men begin to make self-destructive choices as a way
of unconsciously or even consciously punishing themselves for having an
abortion."
Lowe said common symptoms are chronic depression, physical reaction
to seeing pregnant women or babies, eating disorders, flashbacks, reoccurring
bad dreams, seasonal depression on the anniversary date of an abortion,
sexual dysfunction and suicide attempts.
"We help women and men through the stages of grieving: shock or
denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance," Lowe
said.
Individuals are not the only ones who suffer. Studies confirm that 75
to 80 percent of couples break up or divorce within a year after an abortion.
University of La Verne
ULV, like many colleges, takes a more proactive approach by offering
birth-control and pregnancy prevention education to its students, although
most lack programs for pregnant and parenting students.
Dr. Rahmani said, "We have not seen a need for such services."
However, Feminists for Life asserts that most universities are not really
providing choices for students and are doing them a great disservice.
"Look around most of today's college campuses, and you would not
know that there were choices other than abortion. The system practically
forces women into abortion," Pannell said.
"They don't have maternity coverage in their campus health programs,
campus day care or campus housing for pregnant women and students with children."
While there are no simple answers to these questions, but the bottom
line is that regardless of the choice, it is the students who are the ones
who have to take responsibility for their decision.
